Archive for Life

The great debaters

Give me a freaking break!!!!! Can these two guys quit trying to one up each other and actually get something accomplished. Tom Brokaw is the only one staying on point.

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Finishing Well

As I have been processing my father’s recent death.  I have been noticing that people seem to be a little shocked that I am doing so well with it.  I feel like people are expecting me to be all depressed and what not. I admit that I am sad that he is gone and I will be for a long time but I don’t think that has to dominate my life.

Dad finished life well. Until he got sick, and even after he got sick, he was a servant.  Everything he did was to show God’s love to other people. He didn’t let his health dictate his service.  It was great to hear about the things he was involved with that he was too humble to share. The pastor told a story about Dad picking up all of the salt and pepper shakers after the men’s weekly breakfast meetings he went to. He could hardly walk after his first brain surgery and had to use a cane. He still wanted to serve. After he got sick, he was unable to go to the prison to minister to the men who were locked up. He missed this terribly. He loved to share about God’s grace and mercy with these guys who had made some bad choices in life and show them how much God loved them despite their circumstances.  He missed going to the Frankie home to lead worship in their chapel services for the elderly that were residents there.  While I was in South Carolina, I was going through his computer, his iTunes was about 90% sermons on the gospels and about 10% music. One of the few songs was “I can only imagine” by Mercy Me. Besides listening to The Word, he spent time dreaming about Heaven.  I believe that is why he was so peaceful the last two weeks he was alive.  He wasn’t taking any pain medication and rarely showed any discomfort. Mom kept saying, “He must be dreaming of Heaven.”

I hope that I can learn to be as he was; passionate about the things of God, devoted to his family, faithful, funny, humble and an all around great man.

God Speed Dad!

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One more day

Tomorrow we are having another Memorial Service for my dad.  This one will be in Albany Ohio.  My folks spent 23 years or so here and still have a lot of friends in the area.  We brought his ashes and flag up with us from South Carolina yesterday. That was a long trip.  We left at 8:30AM and got in at 9:45PM. We had a side trip by Wingate Univ to see LeAnn’s school and then got caught behind a wreck and some road construction.  I have decided to sing at the Memorial service tomorrow so I need to go practice….

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Soon and very soon, we’re going to see the King

It has been a long day. As I was getting in to the shower today, I started thinking that tomorrow is going to be the last time I get to see my dad. It has weighed on me all day. I can’t think of all the things I need to say to him. He sleeps all day so it’s not like he will hear them but still there are things I need to say. We are going back after dinner tonight so hopefully he will talk with us. Then there is tomorrow. I don’t know how I will fare on the flight back home. Unless God does some of His stuff, dad will be gone in the next two weeks.

I want to try and go down to the beach tonight to spend some time alone with God but at the same time I want to be here to comfort my mom. I guess God will show me what He wants me to do when the time comes.

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We’re a team, me and God

Psalm 150:6

Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!

I am finding that the days just run together lately. My mind has been consumed with all of the “What if’s” that come with a dying relative and decisions that had to be made with putting Dad into Hospice care. I know we made the right choice because it is what he wanted to happen. My mind has just been flooded with all the questions. I tried to go down to the beach last night to clear my head but it was raining and the wind was really coming off the water too hard for me to stay. The water was very rough and pounded the beach very hard. I could relate to the sand in that moment, pounded and tossed around landing in a strange place then for a few moments, peace, and then a new wave bringing more water down on my head. Tonight I headed down there again. The weather was great but the ocean was pretty rough. I gazed out at the horizon, panning around the beauty of God’s creation. At that moment, I found myself worshiping. God of wonders, beyond our galaxy, You ARE Holy. In that place, God gave me a peace in my heart. I know that the next days are going to be some of the most challenging as Dad comes to his end but I believe that if I keep my focus on Jesus through this time, it will be easier.

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An old friend

Excuse me while I dry my eyes.  My mom found a cassette tape from back in 1988. It is my dad singing and we are sitting here listening to it.  It really brings back a lot of memories.  In some way I think that God wanted us to listen to it tonight. There was a song on there called “He giveth more grace”…sorry, need to wipe the eyes again.

Today we signed the paperwork to move Dad into Hospice. It was a really hard thing to do because it makes the future very present.  Mom had to keep reminding herself that this is what Dad wanted. It was a rough day for her.  Thankfully God’s mercies are renewed each morning.

all for now……….

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Tough Day

So, I have made my way to South Carolina to spend some time with my parents. I got in last night about 6 and we have been to see dad 3 times so far.  Dad has been transfered to a rehab facility pretty close to the house. I don’t know how my mom finds the strength to do it everyday except for large helpings of grace and mercy. It has been very tough for me to see my dad in the shape he is in and we are unsure of his remaining days.  Mom said a few times today that she thinks he is checking out on us. It breaks my heart but I know he is tired of it all.  He hasn’t said a word since I have been here and that is tough to handle.  I pray that tomorrow is a new day for him and that he will at least give us a smile.

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