Give me a freaking break!!!!! Can these two guys quit trying to one up each other and actually get something accomplished. Tom Brokaw is the only one staying on point.
Archive for Life
Finishing Well
As I have been processing my father’s recent death. I have been noticing that people seem to be a little shocked that I am doing so well with it. I feel like people are expecting me to be all depressed and what not. I admit that I am sad that he is gone and I will be for a long time but I don’t think that has to dominate my life.
Dad finished life well. Until he got sick, and even after he got sick, he was a servant. Everything he did was to show God’s love to other people. He didn’t let his health dictate his service. It was great to hear about the things he was involved with that he was too humble to share. The pastor told a story about Dad picking up all of the salt and pepper shakers after the men’s weekly breakfast meetings he went to. He could hardly walk after his first brain surgery and had to use a cane. He still wanted to serve. After he got sick, he was unable to go to the prison to minister to the men who were locked up. He missed this terribly. He loved to share about God’s grace and mercy with these guys who had made some bad choices in life and show them how much God loved them despite their circumstances. He missed going to the Frankie home to lead worship in their chapel services for the elderly that were residents there. While I was in South Carolina, I was going through his computer, his iTunes was about 90% sermons on the gospels and about 10% music. One of the few songs was “I can only imagine” by Mercy Me. Besides listening to The Word, he spent time dreaming about Heaven. I believe that is why he was so peaceful the last two weeks he was alive. He wasn’t taking any pain medication and rarely showed any discomfort. Mom kept saying, “He must be dreaming of Heaven.”
I hope that I can learn to be as he was; passionate about the things of God, devoted to his family, faithful, funny, humble and an all around great man.
God Speed Dad!
One more day
Tomorrow we are having another Memorial Service for my dad. This one will be in Albany Ohio. My folks spent 23 years or so here and still have a lot of friends in the area. We brought his ashes and flag up with us from South Carolina yesterday. That was a long trip. We left at 8:30AM and got in at 9:45PM. We had a side trip by Wingate Univ to see LeAnn’s school and then got caught behind a wreck and some road construction. I have decided to sing at the Memorial service tomorrow so I need to go practice….
Soon and very soon, we’re going to see the King
It has been a long day. As I was getting in to the shower today, I started thinking that tomorrow is going to be the last time I get to see my dad. It has weighed on me all day. I can’t think of all the things I need to say to him. He sleeps all day so it’s not like he will hear them but still there are things I need to say. We are going back after dinner tonight so hopefully he will talk with us. Then there is tomorrow. I don’t know how I will fare on the flight back home. Unless God does some of His stuff, dad will be gone in the next two weeks.
I want to try and go down to the beach tonight to spend some time alone with God but at the same time I want to be here to comfort my mom. I guess God will show me what He wants me to do when the time comes.
We’re a team, me and God
Psalm 150:6
Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!
I am finding that the days just run together lately. My mind has been consumed with all of the “What if’s” that come with a dying relative and decisions that had to be made with putting Dad into Hospice care. I know we made the right choice because it is what he wanted to happen. My mind has just been flooded with all the questions. I tried to go down to the beach last night to clear my head but it was raining and the wind was really coming off the water too hard for me to stay. The water was very rough and pounded the beach very hard. I could relate to the sand in that moment, pounded and tossed around landing in a strange place then for a few moments, peace, and then a new wave bringing more water down on my head. Tonight I headed down there again. The weather was great but the ocean was pretty rough. I gazed out at the horizon, panning around the beauty of God’s creation. At that moment, I found myself worshiping. God of wonders, beyond our galaxy, You ARE Holy. In that place, God gave me a peace in my heart. I know that the next days are going to be some of the most challenging as Dad comes to his end but I believe that if I keep my focus on Jesus through this time, it will be easier.
An old friend
Excuse me while I dry my eyes. My mom found a cassette tape from back in 1988. It is my dad singing and we are sitting here listening to it. It really brings back a lot of memories. In some way I think that God wanted us to listen to it tonight. There was a song on there called “He giveth more grace”…sorry, need to wipe the eyes again.
Today we signed the paperwork to move Dad into Hospice. It was a really hard thing to do because it makes the future very present. Mom had to keep reminding herself that this is what Dad wanted. It was a rough day for her. Thankfully God’s mercies are renewed each morning.
all for now……….
Tough Day
So, I have made my way to South Carolina to spend some time with my parents. I got in last night about 6 and we have been to see dad 3 times so far. Dad has been transfered to a rehab facility pretty close to the house. I don’t know how my mom finds the strength to do it everyday except for large helpings of grace and mercy. It has been very tough for me to see my dad in the shape he is in and we are unsure of his remaining days. Mom said a few times today that she thinks he is checking out on us. It breaks my heart but I know he is tired of it all. He hasn’t said a word since I have been here and that is tough to handle. I pray that tomorrow is a new day for him and that he will at least give us a smile.
What’s going on
Not a question, as in Marvin Gaye’s great song but more of what has been happening in my world lately.
My dad gave us a scare. He got dehydrated and had to be taken to the ER. The radiation he had made it very painful for him to swallow so he wasn’t always taking his meds. The doctors were able to insert a pic line so they could hydrate him as well as a feeding tube so he could get some nourishment. The anti-biotics they have him on as well as getting food have started having positive effects. He has started participating in his PT and is also coming around mentally. Thank you all who have been praying for him. It is working and he has a long way to go in his recovery so please keep him before the Lord.
I have been pretty busy myself. I started teaching myself the Perl programming language and I think I overloaded my brain. I am almost certain there was smoke coming from my ears. I set up an account of Facebook and have been able to get in touch with some old friends. Tomorrow I am taking my Father-in-law golfing because I will be down helping out with my Dad next weekend when his birthday rolls around. I have also been thinking a lot about what Cornerstone needs to do to start growing more in worship. I think we are being called to step out of our comfort zones and see where God leads us.
PS- I got the book for my next class, it is CSI135. UNIX/Linux with some scripting thrown in. The book is “A Practical guide to Ubuntu Linux” I really would have thought that they would have used more of a Server Class OS like RHEL/CentOS, SLES, Open Solaris or maybe even BSD. The class will be pretty easy except for the scripting. Everything else in the book I do on a daily basis.
PPS- I have to go rest up for golf tomorrow. I will post again soon.
I’ll take Jesus over a bookie anyday
Friday the 4th of July, I went golfing with my father-in-law and Alistair the youth intern at our church. It was an extremely hot day and we got held up about an hour or so so it took us a little over 5 hours for 18 holes. LeAnn and my mother-in-law picked us up and we went and got a cold drink and an ice cream cone. We decided to go to the grocery and pick up something for dinner before heading out for the fireworks. My father-in-law wanted to go home and shower but I suggested that we just stop since it was on the way. Walking back out to the car, I looked across the parking lot and who do I see but my oldest brother. I have seen him once in the last 7 years and here he was vacationing the same place we were. It was cool to be able to introduce him to my in-laws and Alistair. The coolest part though was I think that God was showing me just how big He is and also that all things are in His control. There are over 6 Billion people in the world. There are over 300 Million people in the United States of America. There are over 9 Million people in North Carolina. Guess whose car we were parked next to in the parking lot? That is right, my brother…. Anyone good at making odd’s or statistics?
Dad Part 8
Monday we were quite shocked to hear from the Doctor that he had removed a new tumor instead of just doing a little clean up. The plan was to remove some little tendrils that remained from the first surgery but when they opened the previous incision they found a new tumor. The first was about the size of a grape and this one was like a goose egg. It grew since the 11th of March when they removed the first one. It has been kind of tough to go through this again but many people have been praying for my family and we truly appreciate it. I am including an email from my brother who is currently with my folks in South Carolina.
All,
Dad has been moved from ICU. He is doing very well in his surgery recovery and was able to go for several walking laps around the “ICU Track” He is on the solid food diet and eating well. As I said in yesterday’s email he is looking very much better than he was pre op. I credit prayer and lessons learned form the last time (March) with his quick stay in ICU.
We talked quickly to the Dr. today and he said that there are still remnants of the tumor and roots in places that he didn’t feel it appropriate to remove at this time. He is going to start reducing the steroids because he said Dad wouldn’t need them anymore. After learning the news of what the surgeon accomplished, Dad seems to be looking a bit forward to the next course of treatment. (This is answer to one of my prayers, because he seemed to lose a bit of will to keep on keeping on) . The surgeon said that the tumor is only located on one side of his brain so that was very encouraging for Dad to hear. I think that dad should be getting released from hospital very soon.
Please know that we appreciate all that you have done for us. My father knows you are praying and that you love him and this is a great help for him. The church family has wrapped us in Christ’s love and it has certainly carried us through all of this.
